How to Be More Influential and Persuasive

Idea

These three words are the most important words in the leadership conversation: I hear you.

Our ability to listen is where leadership really begins. And if you want to advance your career, and create real value for your organization, your team, and the relationships that matter most to you, start with listening.

Example

There are three ways that we listen:

1. Listening to confirm. This is where you’re listening to confirm what it is that you already know. And when we do this, we’re not expanding the conversation.
2. Listening to defend. This is the way that lawyers listen in the adversarial environment of our legal system. They’re listening to take an angle or a position. But when we do this, we’re closing ourselves off from possibilities.
3. Listening to discover. This is when we listen for what we haven’t heard before. This is where new discoveries exist. Ask yourself, what is it that you need to discover in the relationships that matter most to you?

Action

If you lead or manage a team, set up an informal time to talk together, maybe on a Zoom call. Think of a prompt about a new innovation or trend in your industry that people can discuss. Give them something to talk about, and then listen.

Whether you are the team leader or just a participant, how can you follow up on what you’re hearing in that informal dialogue? Where’s that place where you can say, “I hear you”?

Because right now people want to feel that they are listened to, that they are heard, and that they are understood. How can you give them that level of understanding?